This night

This night is laced with magic. The dim light breathes a slow breath. Low notes of a double bass dance about fluidly. One day this will all be over and I will close my eyes for good. For now let's rejoice with each breath, let us be grateful for our troubles and our pride, be thankful for our pain and our peace. Thank you everything for everything.

February 25th, 2010. Oslo Norway. Imogen Heap Tour

I awoke today on the bus en-route to Oslo. I have never been to Oslo. I've never been to Europe actually and I feel pretty spiffy about the fact that I just played a pretty rad show to a great crowd in Berlin. Life is so strange. It really reminds me that everything counts in some way. Good or bad. It seems like yesterday I was so nervous to sing into a microphone in front of my close friends. Now I'm touring the world with the magnificent Imogen Heap. I am so grateful to be doing this. If I could go back in time and tell myself as a teenager that all of those rough times would lead to this, I suppose I would have enjoyed the ride a little more. It seemed like such a farfetched dream. Sure, its not all fun and games. We've all been sick, tossing around this virus the whole time. I miss my girlfriend a lot and worry she won't be able to handle me being away so much. It's a strange life out here on the road. Most of the time is spent at the venues, snacking, emailing, setting up, sound-checking, taking grimy showers, eating pre-made sandwiches etc... The normal day consists of waking up in the little bunk (thats just a little bit bigger than a coffin), stumbling down to the first floor of the bus (yes the bus has two stories), having some coffee and fruit, walking into the venue, maybe going for a jog, setting up gear, sound checking, sorting out merch, eating some snacks, warming up, playing, talking to people after the show, tearing down, getting back on the bus, maybe watching a movie, then going back to sleep to wake up and do it all again. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way complaining. Everyone I'm with is really lovely. Playing my music and playing with Imogen are some of the most most fulfilling things I've done so far. No matter how I feel during the day, after a good show I'm higher than a kite. Literally floating on air... and to hear people who were in the audience tell me it affected them makes it all worth while... I just want to inspire people to open up and feel a bit more. I want people to know that what's inside of them is inside of all of us. No matter what, there is a way through the hard times and there is good times ahead. When I was a teenager, music opened me up to my emotions in a way that nothing else has. I felt the entire spectrum of my emotional core expand through sounds and melodies. It was like what was going into my ears some how came from within. It showed me that there was someone somewhere who knew exactly how I felt. At the time, it was all I needed to feel relevant in such a seemingly alienating and cold world. The thought that I may in some way be creating that experience for others may be enough to endure endlessly long roads and cold nights. There has been a few times when someone has looked at me in the eyes and expressed how they have been moved by what i do. That tells me that this is real. It gives me hope that I may be able to do it for others for a long long time. So for now i'll sit in my hotel room thinking of loved ones, being grateful for now, feeling hopeful for what's to come and a little lonely.... Its sooo worth it.
thank you everything for everything.