First Show with Imogen Heap and Tim Exile, Fonda Theater 11-09-09

disclaimer: I have not given this a proper proof read due to the fact that i am late checking out of my hotel room. Thanks for understanding.


Wow. My first night opening and playing for Imogen Heap was completely overwhelming. there was a strange sense of thrilling stillness before i went on stage. I felt completely under prepared and green before getting on stage but somehow I had acceptance that I had to get through this to get comfortable playing for that many people. Show-time came and Imogen kindly introduced me. I walked up to see 1700 little faces in front of me. I was terrified but somewhat still. I played. Thankfully I rehearsed enough so that my nerves didn't completely de-rail me, however there were a few times when my brain kicked in and threw me pretty far off kilter. It took moments to recover. Still I played. When i was done every step reminded me that i was about 3 feet off the ground. I still had to play throughout Immi's set. Even though i felt extremely under-rehearsed i knew Imogen's presence would ease the electricity in the air. As she walked on stage the crowd roared. Her eloquent explanation of the preparedness situation eased any insecurities. She played. The audience adores her. It was our cue to come back on stage, and as if there was some invisible force field between the observer in the crowd and the performer, we pushed ourselves through and became the watched. Stillness arose as the song began. No thoughts of failure or ability entered my mind at first. We played. At times i worried about hitting the wrong note, or whether i was worthy of sharing the stage with such talent. Luckily these thoughts passed just like leaves in the wind. We played. Before i knew it, the last song arrived. By then I started to feel comfortable with this arrangement. I knew i would miss it when it was over. We played, and then we bowed. Show was over. We walked off stage and i couldn't focus on anything. People were talking to me and it was like i wasn't ever there. I was peering out through this long tunnel of my awareness. I was in a distance place, somewhere outside of existence. I knew i had work to do, gear to tear down, merch to settle up. Still, I wandered around the giant theater avoiding interaction. I realized that i had forgotten to eat that day so my stomach began to ache. I answered the call with some dry sandwiches that had been delivered for catering much earlier. Slowly i returned to the earth. I had never felt so tired in my life. I could hardly keep my eyes open. We retired to the bus where i crawled into my womb-like bunk to sleep. I slept and awoke to do it all again....